Lets just say that the past week has not been a particularly good one in the life of Mr D Lewis.Bearing in mind my last MOT came to about 700 quid and ultimately forced me into buying a new car, I was slightly more optimistic about this years annual garage stint. One new tyre and a dodgy fog light* I can deal with. New windscreen? In the words of a former American Tennis player – “You can not be serious”.
I am one of those sad individuals who gains vast amounts of pleasure from the simple little things in day to day life, and had been really looking forward to getting my new Dobok and sewing on all of my patches and new red trim. Now, I would be the first to admit that sewing isn’t one of my strongest assets. The whole process took up an entire day off and was also host to one of the biggest tantrums I have ever had when it became apparent that I had cut the trim too thin and had to start again a third of the way through. Finally I was left looking at my new trimmed and patched Dobok (feeling pretty chuffed with myself) and thought I would give it a wash for the following days lesson. Unfortunately, what I failed to reaslise is that brand new red cloth tends to run… I don’t really want to talk about it, but lets just say “Pink” would be an appropriate word.
That leads me nicely onto the day of electrical failure.
Sunday, AM. Plug my three month old i-pod into its charger and notice that nothing happens. Wont turn off, wont turn on, wont actually do anything at all. Oh f***ing splendid. Thats fine I thought, will just have to get it sorted on my day off and will have to make do with cds in my car for the time being. Wrong. Get into my car, flip my cd player on… dead. No lights, no sound. Unfortunately I am unsure where I now stand in terms of warrenty as my ‘mild tap’ to the front facia encurred a slight crack to the screen area.
Two things going wrong in one day, now thats pretty unlucky isn’t it? The next thing to break was my mobile phone which does do one better than my i-pod and car stereo in the fact that it does actually switch on. Only downside is that the screen is completely blank, so I can’t actually see what the hell I am am doing. Finally, my new PC which I was told is “the ultimate gaming experience for the money”… doesn’t play games.
I am not a bad man. I keep myself to myself and try to live an honset life, but I am beginning to think that I must have sinned real bad in a past life. Sometimes, if I listen carefully enough, I can just make out the faintest sounds of laughter coming from above the clouds.
* What in the name of Christ do fog lights actually do?
