Just in case a few people were wondering, I am still alive! I’m well overdue an update on here after a good few months away from the keyboard so here goes..
This could (and probably should) be a bit of a sombre post but I will try to keep things cheery, after all Christmas is coming and all that. This Summer has passed far too quickly for my liking and over the last few days the mornings and evenings have started becoming very cold, culminating in having to scrape ice off my windscreen for the first time this morning. I’m quite glad to see the back of Summer to be honest as I have been through a bit of a rough patch with illness and a combination of other things, so a change in season and a very challenging period coming up is a welcome relief.
My training has taken a bit of a step backwards over the last few months where I have missed important events with the club and have struggled with fitness and form. This all culminated this weekend as, due to work, I was unable to attend the annual EMTF British Championships hosted in Rusden. On initial contact with the group it appears we did exceptionally well again with an estimated 37 medals, so I would like to say a huge congratulations to all who attended and represented ISK Cornwall. We are always a dominant force when we attend these events and I knew that we were sure to do well again this time due to the countless hours of preparation we put in in the build up to the tournament, so it does not surprise me in the slightest to hear the news. Personally it was a massive disappointment for me to not be able to attend, and it has left a bitter taste in my mouth by being refused the time away (one day), but it is done now and I am already looking forward to the next couple of events which I’m determined not to miss. Grandmaster Ah Po is making his way to the UK for a seminar at the end of the month which I am really looking forward to, and Grandmaster Giacobbe is also hosting a seminar in November which I am going to try my hardest to attend also.
As the year draws nearer to a close the importance of my training has become very apparent to me and its time to put aside my recent problems, roll my sleeves up and concentrate on my next challenge. I haven’t spoken much about my grading here, mainly as it frightens me just thinking about it, but now it is staring me in the face I cant really hide from it much more. A few months ago I was finding it hard to enthuse myself to get ready for even an evenings training, let alone work, etc, but after a lot of help and support I am actually starting to look forward to December and taking the next step in my training. I am under no illusion that it will be the hardest thing that I have ever done and after watching my instructor prepare for his own test and a senior member pass his Dan Grade, I can see what is required of me; lots of hard work, sweat and pain. The most important thing for me right now is that I feel I am mentally ready, if not physically ready… yet.
I find it hard to express myself at times, and I think that people often get the wrong impression of me which has left me feeling a little excluded from things, but to be honest I really don’t care what people think of me. Sorry, but that is how I feel sometimes and I know half of it is my own insecurities so i apologise if I have neglected people. I just want to move forwards and do what I love and have always loved doing over the last four or so years whether I do it alone or not. A big thank you to those that have been there for me over a hard time though, you know who you are. Its much appreciated and I’m sorry if I wasn’t there to help when the roles were reversed.
Well that’s enough of a heavy one for now, especially on a Sunday of all days! Time to leave the past in the past and move forwards. I turn 30 in just under two weeks and I am looking forward to spending it with family and friends.
Things to do before your 30 (in under twelve days)? Answers on a postcard please 
